What Matters in Business Partnerships?
Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 by Kate Hyland MercerStep 3 of Becoming Partners is evaluating your values and how you handle conflict. Ask yourself these questions before you sign the lease and the partnership agreement! (Not in this order, please…)
How similar are your values?
Yes, yes, we know. You bring different things to the table, and what you are good at, your partner is not. Yes, I know you both work hard and respect people. But what about the ‘rest of the values’ that are core to who you each are? Before you jump into the partnership, can you accurately evaluate where you and your partners are the same and where you are different? Do those areas ‘matter’?
- Can you happily tie one leg to them and risk your pride, your money and your ‘ideas’ for an extended period of your life?
- Are you willing to possibly risk your family, your future, and your lost opportunity of not being able to pursue something else because you have created this partnership?
- Do you really work better with others than you work with yourself?
- Are you a high achiever?
- Are your partners all high achievers?
- Are you going to ‘get sick and tired’ of some of the partners after the thrill of launching a new business wears off.
- Will you be able to function in this partnership and blossom as a Better, Stronger person while achieving your goals? Or, will you lose yourself in an attempt to compromise or overcompensate to make the partnership work?
Now that you have evaluated your similarities in values, how will you resolve conflict with your partners in the areas you don’t always agree?
Conflict in a business will be inevitable. It’s just like life. The most significant times handling conflict becomes important is when it has to do with the direction of the company, how to handle a sensitive issue, or a decision regarding money, clients, employees or priorities. Fear is a funny thing, and when emotions are high, usually fear is involved and it makes even the most rational individuals, irrational.
Evaluate how you currently handle conflict on a daily basis. Will your way work well for you and your partners? If you do not handle conflict well in your everyday life, how will you do a better job in the partnership? Here are seven great questions to evaluate how you handle conflict now and some indicators of how you might handle conflict with a business partner.
- Can you learn a new way to handle conflict?
- Can you disagree without being disagreeable?
- Can you speak up for yourself and what’s important to you?
- Do you have good boundaries?
- Do you have passive aggressive tendencies?
- Are you ok with Conflict and Disagreement?
- Are your partner(s) very verbal or not? Are you?
Ask yourself, Can I spend a lot of time with these people? (Or this person?) Do I like, know and really trust this person (or persons). Do you know these people well enough that you could predict how they probably would decide given certain choices?
Before you become partners is the time to really evaluate how you handle conflict honestly, not when one of your partners has found someone to sell the company to, or wants to bring in his brother in-law to work for you.
If you are already partners, how can you use these talking points to build communication around handling conflict before you need it?
The bottom line is you and these partners have to run a three legged race.
No one wants to talk about it when things are rosy and you just want to move forward and sign the lease, but ‘stop, drop and roll’. As one of my clients lamented after things turned negative in her partnership ‘what did I think? We were all going to just stand around, holding hands and sing kum-ba-ya when things got tough? Why didn’t I ask more questions?’
All of us know someone who has started into a business partnership with lots of good ideas and good intentions. Most of us know one or two where it turned out ok and some of us even know partnerships that still exist and are going strong. However, the statistics are clear: most partnerships do not work because ultimately, the relationship between the partners was not the most important piece of the business.
Handling conflict with grace and tact requires a high degree of emotional intelligence, clarity, and commitment both to what values you hold and to yourself. But, ultimately, for partnerships to work, compromise has to be at the heart of it. That means egos have to be checked at the door and the relationship must come first. It’s a lot of work, but we know people who have done it. Do you?

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